Frightened of the Surface

2013 – current
Listed chronologically, this experimental collection of portraits and self portraits results from my interest in texture, luminosity, and found object. Why heavy texture appeals to me wasn’t always apparent. It took a lot of experimenting, painting, and living to figure out what this was all about. A girl and my childhood experience with the ocean helped me to understand my motivations. I am terrified of the ocean. I swim in it, however, whenever I get the chance. What frightens me most is not knowing what’s underneath. We see only the surface level of the vast ocean. I want to dive beneath and explore every current and alcove. I can’t, though. The ocean restricts me to its surface. Being left on the surface level of people terrifies me, as well. I have a deep need to connect and understand people. To see those cracks in character and abrasions of the surface. I hope my portraits are left exposed by their texture.